Friday, December 9, 2016

How Platonic Love is Beneficial for Polyamory

When I talk to a potential date the question "how many" comes up a good bit. It's totally understandable, especially considering that most of my dates are monogamous or have only been in monogamous relationships thus far. When I add up my total of partners there is, of course, my husband (1), my best friend (2), and a second significant other (3), them - maybe. My husband is a constant in my dating life, period. He is always included in the count of my other romantic relationships, and it is expected that he be included in my count. What catches my potential 3rd partner is that I include my best friend in my count.

My best friend, husband, and I are co-parents, we comfort one another, and hang out any time we have free time to kill. We are not sexual, but there is a romantic aspect to our relationships. It's common for me to come home and find my best friend asleep on my couch, her head in my husbands lap, him petting her hair. When our schedules conflict we watch one another's children. The three of us make an effort to be there for one another, look out for one another, and keep each other sane.

I can go on and on about how my husband, my best friend, and I are all there for one another. That's not why I'm writing this article, though. I'm writing this article to discuss the importance of platonic relationships. Platonic relationships can happen and are important in any relationship structure, but aren't acknowledged that often in monogamous relationships. Sure, most monogamous people have a best friend that they spend a good bit of time with, tell everything to, and even are borderline homosexual for, but they don't really acknowledge that there is a deep connection, in the terms of an actual romantic relationship there.

When you are polyamorous it's easier to acknowledge that you have a closer than average relationship with your best friend. It's easier to classify different relationships under different types of love, because you acknowledge that there are different types of love. Being platonically in love, and acknowledging it, with your best friend is one of the best feelings you can possibly experience. There is a peace knowing that no matter what happens you will always be there for one another, no topic is off limits, nothing is awkward or uncomfortable.

Platonic relationships ease the pressure of expectations and other rocky aspects of romantic relationships. With my platonic relationship I know that there won't be any awkward 'should we kiss' or 'is now the time to take off my pants' moments, because that is not part of our relationship structure, that is not how our platonic relationship works. I know that I will always have someone to talk to, someone who has my back, and a best friend. I know that because of our love and our relationship dynamic, our platonic relationship, that we will always have one another's back. That we will always have one another no matter what.

I'm not saying that platonic relationships don't end. I'm saying that this one, that I have, is important, that with our communication skills, it will last, that it will take something big to end what we have. I glow with pride when she tells me that she is talking, talking to someone, and that she told them that Poly Hubs and I are her platonic loves.

Poly Hubby, Best Friend, and I have an amazing thing and it concretes my belief that platonic relationships are so important. Poly Hubby and I both go to her, she can come to either one of us, and we always have support no matter the situation. We always have someone to hang out with. We always have a baby sitter. We always know that someone loves us.

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