Monday, February 27, 2017

I'm Not A T-Shirt - A Poem

I wrote this around this time last year. I had just gone through a breakup and wasn't feeling good, mentally. I was upset and felt unwanted. Breakups aren't always this bad in polyamory. But when someone leads you on for months, letting you believe that they are okay with the lifestyle, only to drop you, it hurts.

I apologize for not posting on my set schedule. I am working on a couple of reviews for you guys and I ran into some issues. I hope you can forgive me and that you enjoy the reviews! Until then, enjoy this poem!

I am merely a t-shirt
Here, try me on
Slip me over your torso,
Close to your heart

Let me get accustomed to your warmth
Allow my body to form to yours
I’ll soak in your smell
I’ll relish in your touch

Wear me for a couple of months
I smell like you now
I’m perfectly stretched in all the right places
But oh wait

You discover some else wears me, too
I fit perfectly on their torso as well
I smell like them, too
They love the softness of my material

I perfectly fit two different bodies
I smell like two different people
I am no longer valuable to you
You take me off and toss me aside

I still smell you sometimes
I gaze at the damage and blemishes you left on me
The tears that formed when you hastily tore me off your body

I’m merely a t-shirt
Except that I’m not
I’m a human
A rare breed of woman
One who craves the love of two 

I got used to you being a part of my life
I changed, unnoticeable at the time
To better fit into your life
I have traits now that weren’t there before

Parts of my personality molded around our time together
Parts of my life changed to accommodate you
Now there’s a you-shaped hole in my life
And nothing can fill it like you do

There are so many ‘you’ shaped holes in my life
Where people have ‘tried on my lifestyle’
Got me used to them being around
And then vanished because they decided it wasn’t a good fit

So many ‘you’ shaped holes
So many people who don’t know the mess they left behind
My safe place is effected by those who leave
My safe place doesn’t feel like he is my safe place anymore

Because the sadness is too great
The holes are too many
I’m not a t-shirt to toss aside
I’m a polyamorous woman 

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