Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Buying My First Sex Toy and Advice to Newbies


I remember when I bought my first sex toy in 2010. PolyHubby wanted to try something new. We hadn't been introduced to the idea BDSM at this time, and I wasn't into watching porn. We had never tried any type of sex toy and decided on that. We went to a little brick and mortar sex shop down the road from our house, and I remember that the shop keep looked bored while she mindlessly flipped through a magazine and a couple of other customers were in the store.

We giggled at massive jelly dildos and looked wide eyed at huge butt plugs. Despite our giggling, I was overwhelmed and intimidated by all the wonders that are sex toys. We had a $20 budget, and I was starting to get anxious. We wound up at the back wall, staring down a couple of simple, traditional vibrators. Read: phallic, small, and basic. The shapes and sizes of the other varieties scared and confused me. We settled on the Mini Pearlessence, it was cute, sleek, and cheap.


After paying for our new toy, we ran home and used it immediately. I did not like fingers on my clit and had no research on sex toys before our first purchase. The vibrations were foreign and uncomfortable, the vibrator itself was boring.  We only tried to use it a couple of times before I threw it in my nightstand and forgot about it.

Two years later my and PolyHubby's sex life had almost died due to my lack of a libido, we were both miserable but desperately trying to make it work. I was digging through my nightstand, what I was looking for, I can't remember, when I came across the Mini Pearlessence again. Thinking of my sexless marriage and miserable husband, I tried the toy again.

I found that inserting it did nothing for me, and to this day I find straight and vibrating to just be boring. So I moved it around on my vulva until it felt good. Soon I found a position that felt different, but amazing. I pushed the toy against my body, hard, putting the most pressure where it felt best. The pressure caused the vibrations to carry through my body like a rumbling vibrator rather than buzz like the Pearlessence was designed to do.

At this time, in 2012, PolyHubby had pointed out numerous times how I always made him stop playing with me when I found the sensations to be too much. This was because it would become uncomfortable and almost painful. With that in mind, when the vibrations from the toy became too much, I pushed through.

This is where things got interesting. Not only did I orgasm for the first time in my life, but a liquid also gushed from my body! I jumped up thinking I had peed. I was upset that "pushing through" what PolyHubby had called pleasure, had actually caused me to urinate on myself. I started to cry and clean up. I was so upset. I had tried to revive my marriage, and instead, I had just made a mess.

PolyHubby came home shortly after I finished cleaning up and had pulled myself together. I explained what had happened, on the verge of crying again, and his whole face light up. He exclaimed, "Baby, that wasn't pee! You squirted!" What? At this point in my life, I didn't even know what that was. He went into more detail and showed me a couple of porn clips. While mine gushed and theirs shot across the room, I got the idea. PolyHubby told me how incredibly hot he found it and explained that I shouldn't be ashamed of it.

We continued to use the Mini Pearlessence for a couple of months afterward, and I discovered that I would squirt more often than not when I would come. But soon we grew bored of the basic phallic shape with the cheap, buzzy vibrations and the irritating turn dial that ramped up or turned off the toy in the middle of use. I turned to the internet and found EdenFantasys. An online sex shop that sold toys in all shapes and sizes, without the hassle, intimidation, or embarrassment (at that time) of being in a store.

I was able to research what I thought I would like, read reviews on different toys, and finally bought a Je Jou Mimi! It was my second ever vibrator and my first luxury toy. I loved it and was quickly spoiled.

My advice to newbies to the world of sex toys:

  1. Do your research. Ther are chemicals out there that will hurt you and toy companies that are shady. 
  2. Don't start with a small budget. Save up and splurge
  3. Get something that offers different stimulation. Don't just get a basic, phallic vibrator. Get a rabbit or a versatile dildo
  4. Figure out what you like. Do you enjoy internal or external stimulation? Do you like strong or soft vibrations? Do you like dildos or things that vibrate?
  5. EF and the sex blog community is a great resource to discover most of these things. If you need help you can post in their forums. If you can't find what you're looking for or if want help without having to post, you can also send me an email! I'd love to give you a couple of suggestions!
This is a sponsored post, but all thoughts, opinions, and ideas are my own. This post does contain affiliate links! 

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